they could not steal our love

Closing retreat was wonderful. The time spent as a team reflecting, encouraging, and enjoying each other was essential. The time spent with all the teams from the 9 different cities was uplifting and unifying. It was a beautiful time of closure.

We returned to Houston on the 29th to find that our AC was broken. Oh well. We were too exhausted to care at that point. The following day we completed our packing and cleaned the house. We boxed up all of our belongings and moved them into the front room. That night we stayed at various friends' houses or at hotels so we wouldn't have to endure another night in the heat of our house. 

We got to the house the next morning to find everything trashed. Our house had been broken into. On our last night. The irony of the situation was incredible. Throughout the year I had prepared myself for something like this to take place. Time and time again, I was pleasantly surprised. The house was empty for 3 weeks over Christmas break and nothing happened. It was empty again for a week over spring break and nothing happened.  Everything was fine while we were gone for retreat.

But -

Our last night. Things were stolen, and the house we had spent so much time cleaning up was a chaotic mess. It wasn't my favourite way of saying goodbye to the neighborhood. 

In a way, however, it was oddly freeing. After all, the things they stole were only things. 

They could not steal our friendships.

They could not steal our memories.

They could not steal the lessons we learned.

They could not steal our laughter.

They could not steal our tears.

They could not steal our celebrations.

They could not steal our love.

Goodbye, Eastwood. 

Endings and Beginnings

This is our last week. It's official - Mission Year is ending.

This weekend it really started to sink in. We're moving out of our house, leaving each other, saying goodbyes and going our separate ways. On Saturday we began to pack. Our walls are bare and lifeless, our shelves are empty, and our shared lives are being separated into cardboard boxes. Memories are flooding back of our first days together - sleeping on the living and dining room floors because we had no beds or air conditioning, using mattresses as couches until we had couches donated to us, bonding in garage apartments and the long road trips to and from Atlanta. Soon we'll be heading that way again for our closing retreat...

Before beginning our Sunday School lessons yesterday the kids sang a song for us and the Children's Ministry leaders gave us a fruit basket and thanked us. Our Pastor called us up to the front at the end of the service to pray for us and bless us as we begin our new journeys. It was our last Sunday at Ecclesia as a Mission Year team.

Yesterday I was struck by the incredible beauty of my community. I sat in service with the kids from Generation One before they went to Sunday School. The kids beside me played with my hands and asked me how long until they could leave. As we sang I could hear the pure voices of the kids behind me. I couldn't help breaking into the biggest smile in the history of my life and shedding a few tears as well. When they eventually filed out for Sunday School the empty seats in my row were filled by a loving and inspiring family from my church who have taken in so many children, children with special needs and who desperately need their love. The seat to my right was filled by Michael, a dear friend I met through Simple Feast.

Our Pastor gave us a great reminder through a quote by Martin Luther King Jr. : "...many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny and their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom." I thought about that in the context of my life and relationships this year. My freedom, joy, fate, well-being is inextricably bound to that of the refugee who struggles with English and with single-handedly providing for her children, the man sitting beside me who is trying to get back on his feet, the young mother at the end of our street whose husband will soon be leaving for OTC in Alaska...

We are all so completely connected and so desperately in need of each other.

Mission Year is ending, but a new journey is beginning. And I still have so very much to learn...

Thank you, Lord, for leading me on this journey. 
Thank you for the path that stretches ahead of me.


Love.

Imagine...

"Imagine the city the way God wants it to be. No more poverty. No more injustice. Every person matters. Now imagine a handful of young people moving into a house in the city, working to make this a reality.

People who learn from their neighbors, listen to their needs, and pray with them over and over. People who work hard to love others the way Jesus loves. People who stay long enough to become true friends.

Imagine that house becoming a safe place in the neighborhood where people see the gospel lived out, alive and available to all.

Imagine each individual devoting each day to God, then going out to do what God says. Partnering with social service agencies and local churches who are working towards the same goal. Offering compassion and working for justice.

Can you see what happens? That household makes a difference in the neighborhood, and the neighborhood makes a difference in return. The living gospel transforms everything it touches. The Kingdom of God advances.

Now, finally, imagine all of that a thousand times over..." (www.missionyear.org)

This is the vision of Mission Year. I feel tears threatening to escape my eyes every time I read that. How beautiful it is to dream these dreams, to imagine creative ways to advance the Kingdom of God. How beautiful it is to believe that when Jesus prayed for God's will to be done on earth as it is in Heaven, He meant that - the Kingdom of Heaven on earth. How beautiful it is to live in the light of Redemption and of Grace and to know that one day all of creation will be restored!

I just wanted to share with you that vision, and I pray that it touches you heart the way it constantly touches mine.

Regarding my previous post: no one had to return home! Mission Year is still struggling, however, and still needs to raise more money in order to get by and to continue operating beyond this year.

Lord, let Your Kingdom come and Your will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven.

Jehovahjireh

Money. How I wish we didn't need it - but it's unfortunately a necessary part of our lives.

Before beginning Mission Year I read a book about the life and ministry of George Mueller, a German missionary who had a heart for orphans and an incredible faith in God. As I read about how he relied on God to provide for him, praying in faith and receiving exactly what he needed, I was awed and humbled. After much prayer and discussion with my parents, I decided that I wanted my funds for Mission Year to be raised that way - through faithful prayer. For me it was an exercise in faith. I informed people about my plans to serve God in inner city Houston and also about the fact that I would be living off support, but I never asked for money. Instead I prayed that as I shared with people about my experiences and my heart for the work I'm involved in, God would move in people's hearts and urge them to give.

As I began this journey, my Dad blessed me with a verse from Genesis: "So Abraham called that place The LORD Will Provide. And to this day it is said, On the mountain of the LORD it will be provided." (Genesis 22:14). Jehovahjireh ~ The Lord Will Provide. Throughout these past months, I have had periods of complete confidence, when I would be consistently hearing from people who wished to support me, and periods of doubt, when my support level would not change for weeks and months at a time. But I continued to pray and to trust in the Lord. Indeed the Lord did provide, and I have now raised more than the amount I need! Thanks to all of you who supported me financially and to those who continuously support me through prayer!

This journey has not ended.

Recently we were informed that Mission Year is in a bad state financially. Although we knew this from the beginning, we never knew how desperate the situation was. Mission Year has never wanted people to decide against participating in the program for financial reasons. They have always asked team members to raise $12,000 but have never turned people away if they could not raise that much. In the past this has worked out as some members have raised more than $12,000 while others have raised less. Oftentimes between team members, the support would level out, but if it didn't, Mission Year had a surplus they could dip into in order to subsidize the funds of those who didn't raise enough. Due to the recent economic recession, however, Mission Year no longer has that surplus available and now have a significant deficit.

This year a large number of team members across the country are at a critically low support level. These team members are being asked to raise $1,500 within the next two weeks. If they are not able to do so, they will have to return home as Mission Year is not in a position where they are able to support them.

Obviously, no one wants this to happen.

When we were informed of this news, I was surprised to find that rather than being filled with dread, I was filled with excitement. I am confident that we will be able to raise this money and that we will see God move in incredible ways through this struggle.

Mission Year teams are coming together now to help our teammates raise their support and stay in their cities. Already we've seen beauty come from this. First and foremost, it is a beautiful thing that through this struggle we are being drawn closer together as we join together as a community to raise money to support Mission Year and our teammates. I have seen God provide for me this year and I have a peace and assurance that He will provide for us in this seemingly dire situation.

Jehovajireh.

As we've made this need known to our friends here in Houston, so many of them have already stepped up to help us and surround us with support. Our supervisor at Ecclesia has given my teammate Bonnie permission to devote her time at Ecclesia next week solely to fundraising. She also told us that she has a bunch of old furniture and other items that she will donate to us to sell in a garage sale. Yesterday a group of children from Generation One, an after school tutoring program that four of us volunteer at, set up a lemonade stand on the patio outside of Ecclesia. They raised over $300 and are donating half of their profits to our team.

One immediate result of the financial state of our organisation is that our food budget for this month has been cut in half. Already we've seen God provide for us as a couple from Steven's church came by on Saturday with practical donations to our ministry - including a large amount of food! God's timing is crazy like that. Our neighbors also continue to be generous in cooking meals for us as they have been all year.

Following Spring Break our city directors had us start working a few Astros games to raise money for Mission Year. Aramark, the company that runs the concessions, has an agreement with non-profit organisations where a group can work a concession stand and receive a portion of the profits. We were trained and certified to do this before we knew about Mission Year's finances. God's timing again is incredible. This week we will be working games each night, bringing in a significant amount of the funds we need to raise.

We continue to serve in faith that God will keep our team, and all Mission Year teams across the country, together through our fundraising efforts and the support of our friends and family.

Thank you again!

Love,

Sarah

the need for sleep, emptiness, and the smell of flowers always

This week has been a long one, filled with long days. I'd like to sleep forever, please.

Many months back, Bonnie decided it would be awesome to start a Bible/book study based on the book "Not For Sale" by David Batstone. We finally got it started a few weeks ago and have been meeting on Tuesday nights to discuss what we've read. God has been breaking my heart for these atrocities that I've known about for so long but from which I kept my distance for so long. It's easy to become depressed and hopeless, but our Lord is full of grace and beautiful promises. Please read Isaiah 58. I would write it all in this post, but I'm afraid the abundance of words might scare people away from reading the rest of my thoughts. :P

So Tuesdays are long, but they're wonderful.

God is asking me to give things up. I want to. I want so badly to trust Him completely, to allow Him to fully be Lord over my life, my future, my dreams, my heart...everything. But it seems that any time I give something up to Him, I immediately start searching for something else to hold onto in its place. I'm in need of emptiness. Only in my emptiness, my fragility, my vulnerability am I able to allow God to fill me. It is then that I catch a glimpse of vision and purpose. When I try to figure out my own life, to decide on a future path, I end up feeling like my life has no direction...

"Then I thought, 'To this I will appeal: the years of the right hand of the Most High.' I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember Your miracles of long ago. I will meditate on all Your works and consider all Your mighty deeds." ~ Psalm 77:10-12

The Lord is faithful.

I love the song "Young at Heart". And the smell of April flowers in Houston.

It rained yesterday, so we had Simple Feast under the bridge. It brought back memories of rainy Simple Feasts in late August and September - back when all of this was so new. I love those memories. They remind me of how far God has brought me and how faithful He's been.

i guess it's about time

Time for an update!

So. The new building that Ecclesia was going to buy fell through. I'm confused by this. It seemed SO perfect. It was in our neighborhood, about 25 minutes walking from our house. The location is in the second ward, close to both the third and fifth wards, providing countless opportunities to minister to the poor and marginalized. I just KNEW it was the building God wanted Ecclesia to have. I guess I was wrong. Because we're not getting it. I'm struggling with this...

We had a lovely two weeks of Spring when we returned from break. Now it's beginning to feel like summer (to me anyway, but I'm not a native Houstonian). It was nice while it lasted. I'm bracing myself for the coming heat and humidity.

Yesterday we celebrated Easter with a service held at Miller Outdoor Theater. There were THOUSANDS of people there. Rich, poor, young, old, all different races. It was a small glimpse into the Kingdom of God. Afterwards we feasted. Thousands of hot dogs and hamburgers were grilled and people brought food from their homes as well. We feasted together, celebrating the Risen King. When the service began the sky was overcast. By the time it ended, the sun had broken through. What beautiful symbolism. It was a beautiful day!

I love God. He is so faithful. I was reminded recently of how He brought me to this place, how He called me and led me and spoke to me. It was a beautiful reminder.

These are some things I've been hearing from Him lately:

"Faith never knows where it is being led, but it knows and loves the One who is leading." ~ Oswald Chambers

"Let the morning bring me word of Your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in You. Show me the way I should go, for to You I lift up my soul." ~ Psalm 143:8 (this is my prayer)

"'Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus and to take Him at His word; just to rest upon His promise, and to know, "Thus saith the Lord." Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him! How I've proved Him o'er and o'er! Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus! O for grace to trust Him more!" ~ Louisa Stead

Faith. Trust. Waiting on the Lord. This is what I'm learning. This is what I'm striving for.

Love.

sacred moments

Every now and then I take a step back and just soak in the moment. Our lives are filled with sacred moments, moments of beauty, moments bursting with God's grace and redemption, moments that we often miss...

We've started taking the kids from Generation One (the after school program we volunteer with twice a week) to a community garden every other Friday. The first week we went the kids planted tomatoes in pots they had painted the previous week. Many of them had never seen a tomato plant before, the only tomatoes they had seen were in the grocery store. So when they were given their baby plant to put into their soil, many of them asked, "Where's the tomato?"

The next time we went their tomato plants had grown. This time they had the opportunity to water the plants and put worms into the dirt. After they had gotten over their fears of touching the worms, they kept going back for more and more. I couldn't hold back my smiles and laughs as I watched them gasp and crinkle their noses and poke the worms and hold them up over their friends' heads.

Our times at the community garden are times when everything feels right. Those are moments when I step back and am amazed at God's beauty. It's an incredible experience to watch those kids learn about how things grow - the different elements that work together to create these living parts of God's world. The garden is a place of redemptive beauty in the midst of the run-down buildings and littered streets of the Third Ward.

For a while now we've been taking a volleyball and net with us to Simple Feast on Sundays. Yesterday I jumped in and played with some of the other Ecclesians and guys at the park. I had no idea a casual game of volleyball could bring tears to my eyes. It was a time of laughter, unity, joy, and fun in the middle of a park filled with stories of betrayal, loneliness, addiction, separation, and struggle.

God's presence in the ordinary - things like volleyball and tomatoes - makes them sacred and beautiful tools of redemption.

Amen.

P.S. The story from my last post got into the Houston Free Press!!