Sunday, May 10, 2009


After hearing that I would definitely be doing Mission Year, my mom recommended that I read a certain book about a German missionary named George Mueller. His lifestyle truly amazes and humbles me. He lived trusting God day to day, never knowing how long he would remain in one place before God led him to move on. When he prayed, he did so with faith, being certain that God would answer and provide. God always did, even when it seemed like there was no possible way Mueller could get what he needed.

One time, Mueller needed money to buy Bibles. So he prayed specifically for God to give him 20 pounds with which to purchase them. That very day a woman came to his door and handed him an envelope. Inside the envelope was exactly 20 pounds. Mueller asked the woman if she wanted the money to be used for anything specific. She answered that she wanted him to buy Bibles. Praise God!

God never lets us down; we let Him down when we fail to trust Him. God, grant me greater trust in You.

In the words of Casting Crowns, “What if His people prayed?” If all Christians prayed earnestly and fervently with the trust that George Mueller displayed, we would see amazing things take place.

“If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.” ~ 2 Chronicles 7:14

“Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

“And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.” ~ James 5:15-16

As incredibly encouraging as this is, it often overwhelms me. There is so much in this world that needs prayer – churches, schools, governments, families, friends, believers, non-believers, homeless, orphans, slaves, leaders….the list goes on. Fortunately, God again provides.
“…the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will.” ~ Romans 8:26-27
Praise God that He doesn’t put all the pressure on us! (If that were the case, things would be hopeless) He has given us the Holy Spirit to guide us and to plead with God on our behalf when we are unable.

Saturday, May 9, 2009


This school year, emotionally and spiritually, has been the one year of my life that most resembles a roller coaster. The image may be cliché, but it’s extremely fitting. It has been a year of excitement, anxiety, passion, and apathy as I approach a major transition (*gasp* the dreaded ‘t’ word) in my life. Where will I go next year? What will I study? Where is God leading me? Is this feeling of being called to ministry really from Him? Questions, questions, questions….it has been a year of questions.

Near the beginning of the school year, we had Spiritual Emphasis Week. The thing that stuck most in my mind was the speaker’s challenge to ask God to do something radical in our lives. I did. Little did I know what that would look like or where it would lead me.

In February, I learned about a program called Mission Year (to learn what this is visit It sounded fantastic to me from the very beginning to spend a year devoted to loving people. It seemed to fit with what God had been placing on my heart about the importance of relationships. Yet I was in torment – this was no easy decision. It would mean putting off college (which had been my plan for right after high school for the past who-knows-how-many years) for a year. It would mean drastic change. Wasn’t that what I had prayed for?
I wouldn’t let myself embrace the idea too quickly.

The beginning of March we went to Nürnburg for high school retreat. My expectation for that weekend was for God to show me whether or not Mission Year was something I should pursue. I knew He would not let me down. Sure enough, during the worship sessions and small group times, God spoke to me through songs and verses:
Ø “I will lift my eyes to the Maker of the mountains I can’t climb” – not only is God able to help me overcome tasks that I am incapable of, He CREATED them. So why ever should I doubt?
Ø “Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished.” (Luke 1:45) – that seemed pretty straightforward. STOP DOUBTING.
Ø “My weakness only brings to light the arms of God, such strength and might.” – yes, I’m weak, but God SHINES through that weakness!
Ø “No matter what tomorrow brings, there’s strength enough for today.” – it can be exhausting to live a surrendered life, but God provides the strength we need. We may not have the strength to last a week or month or year, but He gives us strength for today. One day at a time.
Ø “The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.” (Galatians 5:6)
That weekend, I decided to apply. I knew that if this wasn’t God’s will, He would close the door and I would not be accepted to the program. What did I have to lose?

I applied on March 17th. Then came the waiting period. In the midst of the waiting I went on a week long mission trip to Kenya. Back in November, when I signed up for the trip, I did so with the hope and expectation that God would either confirm or completely deny the calling I felt to ministry. Throughout the week He consistently confirmed it and granted me peace about it. On March 30th, I finally prayed a prayer dedicating my life to God’s ministry, whatever form it may take. Surrender is freeing. After that I was even more excited for Mission Year – but I still had to wait. Anxiety and impatience were very present. I constantly had to remind myself that God is in control. He has a beautiful plan and purpose for my life, so what reason do I have ever to be anxious?

After what seemed like 10,000 years (only a slight exaggeration), I received an email of ACCEPTANCE on April 29th. The next day was my birthday and one of the girls in my dorm said that this was my birthday present from God. I still don’t know which city I’ll be in, but I’m so excited. Not a day goes by now that I don’t thank God for the opportunity He’s given me. I’m so thrilled…ECSTATIC…to know that He wants me – a doubtful, selfish girl who constantly makes mistakes – to be a part of His work. He doesn’t need me, but He wants me. Sure, I still have my fears, but I’m excited to see how God proves those fears unfounded. He will provide.

Throughout my Mission Year I’ll try to keep this blog updated so that you can see how God is working in my life and the amazing things that He accomplishes, even through a weak and insecure sinner like me.

The title of my blog "Gold in the Garbage" refers to the fact that though I may see myself as worthless and full of sin, God sees something beautiful and precious in me and He will work through me despite my faults.